Contest with YAtopia

     So I'm entering a contest today. I mean, why not? It's over at YAtopia. You enter in your pitch and the first line of your manuscript for awesome agent Natalie Fischer from Bradford Lit Agency to look at.
     While I'm unsure about my two-line pitch, and I'm trying to work on my hook for my query letter- which are really the same thing- I figured I'd enter the contest anyway because you just never know.
     If you're interested in the contest, head here:

http://yatopia.blogspot.com/2011/04/pitch-contest-with-natalie-fischer.html

     And check out YAtopia while you're at it, it's a great blog!
     And that's about it for today- I'm still stressing over my query which is probably why I have a major headache. Stupid query. You will be the death of me.

Help! I Need Some Query Help!

     So I've got issues. Which is, you know, obvious. Probably. My writing issues might not be quite so obvious though. First of all, I can't stop re-writing my first chapter (although I haven't in a whole month- gasp!). The other thing I can't stop re-writing: yep, my query.
     My first query sucked bricks. I know that now. Unfortunately, that's the one I've probably sent out the most. Lately though I'll get two or three rejections and think, I've got to rewrite my query. Or more like, "AAAAHHHHHHH! My query sucks! I've got to change it! Right now! AAAHHHHHHHH!"
     So I have three different versions, one of which I've never sent, one I've sent once (but haven't heard back yet) and one I've probably sent at most, five times. So it's not like these are exactly tested. I read somewhere that at every 20 rejections is when you should rewrite your query. (I'm obviously waaaay to obsessive-compulsive for that.)
     What I'm hoping for is some feedback. Even if it's just telling me which query you like best. Or if they all suck- cuz they very well could. Or what I'm missing. Or what's too much. Or if they make no sense. Or... well, you get the idea. And for your viewing pleasure, I've posted pics of my dream movie cast, cuz I like pictures to look at.
     So, anyone up for the task? Anyone? Bueller?

Jessica Jacobs (Samantha Munro)

Query #1

Sixteen-year-old Jessica Jacobs loves to daydream about being an actress, a socialite, a princess. Never in her daydreams is she forced to scrub poop off the floor by her awful boss (Lady Fiona). And never in her daydreams is she pursued by the creepy stalker guy (Lord Purvis) instead of the charming and swoon-worthy knight (Lord Alric). But how else did she end up in crazy medieval land, unless she’s gone crazy herself?

Crazy or not, the place has some perks. Like taking sword fighting lessons from Lord Alric, who is so hot he even makes decapitating another person look good. Falling in love with him would be a perk too if only he felt the same way about her. Instead Jessica has to deal with Lord Pervy’s cheesy pick-up lines and Lady Fiona’s stinky feet. It sucks being the peon instead of the princess.

With a battle looming, a mysterious traitor within the Court, and Lord Purvis going from creepy to downright freaky, Jessica wonders if her new (but very cool) sword fighting skills will be enough to keep her alive. Staying might cost Jessica her life. But going home to the world she knows means leaving Lord Alric- and that will cost her heart.

Lord Alric (Alex Pettyfer)

Query #2

Sixteen-year-old Jessica Jacobs never imagined that her daydreams would one day become reality. But this reality is something she never would have imagined. Instead of designer jeans, she’s wearing a potato-sack dress. And instead of Zac Efron, she has to deal with bad-breathed medieval knights aiming swords at her throat.

To make matters worse, she isn’t the princess in this daydream, she’s the peon. Between scrubbing poop off Lady Fiona’s floor, and dodging Lord Pervy, ahem Lord Purvis, Jessica barely has time to wonder if she’s somehow trapped herself in a daydream, or if this world is more real than she originally thought.

Then she meets Lord Alric. Suddenly finding a way home isn’t all that important anymore. Charming and totally hot, he’s exactly the kind of guy Jessica usually daydreams about. Just one problem: Lady Fiona is determined to marry him. And Lady Fiona gets whatever she wants.

But Jessica manages to get something she wants for once: sword fighting lessons taught by Lord Alric. Falling in love with him is easy. Dealing with revolts, traitors, battles, diva bosses, and stalker brothers so isn’t. Jessica is left with a choice: stay in crazy medieval land for a man who may not even be real, or go back to her boringly normal, Lord Alric-free life.

Lady Fiona (AnnaSophia Robb)

Query #3

Sixteen-year-old daydreamer Jessica Jacobs wakes up one morning in a forest surrounded by rotten-toothed medieval knights aiming their swords at her throat. They take her to Hampshire, a quaint medieval town complete with looming castle, a genial Count, and the Count’s cow of a daughter Lady Fiona. Jessica can’t help but wonder if she’s gone from daydream addict to trapped-in-her-own-mind mental patient.

Jessica barely has time to worry how she’ll survive without her iPod, French fries, and flushable toilets. Lady Fiona, her new boss, is a total cow, making her scrub poop, move her furniture around, and rub her stinky-feet. And then there’s Lord Purvis- Lady Fiona’s older brother whose creepy stalker ways have led Jessica to dub him Lord Pervy. Jessica just wants to go home before things can get any worse. If only she knew how.

Then she meets Lord Alric who definitely has that whole knight-in-shining-armor thing going on. He’s the perfect gentleman, so unlike the high school boys she’s used to, and he drives Jessica emotionally crazy. It’s hard learning how to sword fight from him when she can hardly focus in his presence.

With a battle looming, a mysterious traitor within the Court, and Lord Purvis going from creepy to downright freaky, Jessica wonders if her new (but very cool) sword fighting skills will be enough to keep her alive. Staying might cost her life. But going home to the world she knows means leaving Lord Alric- and that will cost her heart.

Lord Purvis (Ed Speleers)

Info for Book 2

     In my quest to write a book that takes place in Virginia, year 1781- end of the American Revolution, I find I'm seriously lacking in the knowledge department. First of all, well, I'm Canadian! Although I did live in Connecticut for my last two years of high school, my US History class started at Reconstruction (after the civil war). So no help there. Also, since I'm Canadian, there just aren't the resources in my local small-town library. Even the Calgary library is lacking certain books/movies I've been looking for. So I'm trying to get my hands on anything from that time and about the American Revolution so I can get a better idea of that time in general.

     One movie I found and watched this week is called 1776. It's a musical. Now, I like musicals, I'm definitely a fan. Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Judy Garland- I love those old movies. And I go for the newer ones too like Moulin Rouge, Phantom, and Chicago. This movie was filmed in the 70s. Not my favorite decade for movies, I must admit. The movie wasn't that bad though, although it was hard for me to tell sometimes when they were just being musical cheesy or if some of those characters were actually like they were portrayed. I did learn a lot about the signing of the Declaration of Independence though (which is what the movie was about).
     I also watched a National Geographic movie about George Washington and learned a bit about him, although none of it was really all that helpful to my book. My book takes place in Virginia, but is mainly about the British army interacting with an American family, and Jessica of course.
     All I have to say is, thank heaven for the internet. Yes, it's a bad bad place. Sometimes I shudder to think what kids are using it for these days, but there is some good too. For example, I found a group of reenacters who recreated the 33rd Regiment of Foot, which is exactly the Regiment I'm using in my book. I plied them with questions galore and got back answers to everything. So grateful!

This is the 33rd Regiment of Foot out in California. Their website is 33rdfoot.org

     Then I found, I don't even remember how, this fabulous blog called An Historical Lady. This woman, who has an inspiring story, sews these gorgeous dresses (among other things). Check out her blog, I thought it was incredible.

I have Jessica wear this dress (without the hat) in my book because I loved it so much! Check out this blog at anhistoricallady.blogspot.com

     I still need more info though. Right now I'm just trying to get the book written, but it's hard when I know I'm getting some things wrong, and I'm not adding in a lot of detail because I just don't know it. I figure that if Daze and Knights ever does get published, I'll have a legitimate excuse to take a trip out East to really experience the history and make book 2 as accurate as I can make it. Meanwhile, I'll have to keep haunting websites like the Colonial Williamsburg one (history.org) to learn anything I can. That's all I can do!

A Discovery of Witches, and An Ignoring of The Number 31

     Oh thirty, thirty, wherefore art thou, thirty? It seems like just yesterday when I was all depressed at leaving my twenties and turning thirty. Can I have that back now? Or can I freeze time and just stay thirty forever? Although, if I'm going to do that, I might as well freeze myself at 28. Or 25. Nah, maybe 21... Maybe I'll just never celebrate a birthday again. Unless presents are involved. And cake. And dinner out. Ha! I'm such a brat. But hey- it's my party and I can be a brat if I want to.
     Anyway... I want to say a quick thanks to Krista and Kayeleen who organized the LDS Writer Blogfest yesterday and for letting me participate. It was really great to read everyone else's comments on the talks. I got, like, triple out of general conference this time.
     I haven't blogged about any books lately and that's because I read two vampire books that are both part of a different series (House of Night, Vampire Academy) and I don't feel like blogging about those until I'm done the series'. Then it took me a week to read my next book, which was this:

     A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. Basically, I could describe it as Twilight for adults. There are a few similarities. But lots of differences too, I guess. Instead of a vampire falling for a human, in this book he falls for a witch. Oh and there's daemons around too. So I liked her take on vampires, witches, and daemons. I felt like she made it her own. I liked the love story. And I loved how she referenced a lot of historical stuff (the vampire was born in the 500s). I like me some history.
     What I didn't like: It was really long but had little action. Kind of slow. And with all the history she mentioned, she also mentioned A LOT of science. The quickest way to get me to fall asleep is to start talking science in a novel. Yawn. But that's just me- I have no scientific (or mathematic) brains whatsoever. Others would love that in the book, me- not so much.
     There was something I realized while reading this book. I was trying to figure out what was really stopping me from loving the book- I never wanted to quit reading it, I was interested to know what would happen, and I thought of it occasionally (not tons) when I wasn't actually reading it. So, why wasn't I loving it?
     Well, aside from the slowness and the science, I just wasn't connecting with the main character (Diana the witch). Part of the problem could have been that she never actually mentioned an age, so I started off thinking Diana was in her 20s. It wasn't until later that I figured out she's probably in her early 30s. This threw me off. And then the clothes Diana wears were just so old lady to me. Not that I'm this fashion maven or anything, but I swear all the girl wears is black trousers with sweaters or blouses. Trousers? Really? I just didn't get that. I mean, I know she's academic and all that, but you'd think she'd own at least one pair of jeans! Aside from that, there were times when she was calm and brave, and other times when she'd panic for little reason. The author sort of explains why this is, but I still couldn't help but step back from the book when she's panicking all of a sudden and be like, why is she freaking out? There are probably other things too but I just didn't really connect to her. In fact, I connected more with the old vampire dude than her (how messed up is that?). That's what really stopped me from loving the book. The book is good though and others might not have this problem with the main character, so I'd still recommend it.
     Well, since it's my birthday, I'm going to quit this and do... absolutely nothing. I think I'll go watch Shrek with my girls. Happy Birthday to me.

LDS Writer Blogfest: "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye To Be?"

     First off, before I get to the talk, there were two things that happened during conference that I just have to mention. While I was sitting on the couch, waiting for the Sunday morning session to start, my 6-year-old son sat next to me. He sat quietly, his arms folded across his lap, and watched. After the opening hymn was over he turned to me, his eyes wet, and said, "Whoa, I almost cried there." I just about fell off the couch. Granted, his quiet sitting lasted only minutes longer, but in that one moment, he felt the spirit. Awesome. He's totally his mother's son- feeling the spirit strongest through music. While I sang along to the intermediate hymn with the choir and the entire congregation at the conference center, I just felt this swell in my chest at all the voices joined together. I get that feeling in sacrament meeting sometimes and it's just awesome. Something I can't really describe except it's a bit of breathlessness, of awe, and a feeling of commonality, of being joined as one. Music is very powerful and truly amazing.
     Anyway, on to the talk- What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye To Be? given by Lynn G. Robbins of the Seventy. There were so many great talks but one of the reasons I chose this one is because it was the kind of talk I wanted to listen to again to really understand it. And there were certain parts that really struck a chord with me and in different ways.
     In our quest to be like the Savior, there are many thing we need to do. But we also need to be. Brother Robbins says, "be and do are inseparable". If we aren't both being and doing, then we're hypocrites. To give very simple examples, I can go to church every Sunday (do) but if I don't believe in the gospel then what's the point- there's no be. Or, maybe I believe in my heart the truth of the gospel (be) but if I never act on it by going to church, I'm not doing. Those are over-simplified examples, but you get the point.
     One of the things that really got me was when he mentioned "to do lists". I'm such a to-do list person- and by that I don't mean actual written to-do lists, but rather ones in my head- and I rely on them daily. For example:

get up

feed the kids breakfast

get them dressed and off to school

wash sheets and towels

dust and vacuum upstairs

pick up son from kindergarten

feed kids lunch

put daughter down for nap 

write

make sure kids have done their homework/ home reading

make and eat dinner

put kids to bed

     This is my actual list for tomorrow (and most Wednesdays) and it will run through my head throughout the day while I mentally check things off. It gives me great satisfaction to get things done. When I do, I feel like I've earned the time to write, to read, or watch my favorite shows. But these things are all do's. They're important, yes. But where in that list is, play with the kids?
     Then I think of more churchly things- I can mentally check off: went to church, did my visiting teaching, read my scriptures, paid my tithing... you get the idea. But if I'm doing all those things simply to check them off my mental list, have I really gotten the point? Am I doing them more because I feel I have to- to get them done- than an overpowering desire to be even as he is? Hmm....
     Another reason I liked this talk is because Brother Robbins applied be and do to parenting. He says, "as a parent, when can I check a child off my list as done? We are never done being good parents. And to be good parents, one of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be more like the Savior."
     He says that teaching be to our children will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do.
     So, my kids are fighting with each other (surprise surprise). When I yell at them to stop fighting with each other, is this really effective? Of course not. (Although honestly, sometimes they don't listen until I get to the yelling.) But instead of disciplining them for what they did, I need to figure out what would correct the fighting. Like teaching them to be patient and forgiving. Teaching them to love. Teaching them not to blame.
     The word discipline come from the same root word as disciple- therefore we should be disciplining with patience and with helpful lessons. Not with anger. He quotes D&C, saying we should discipline "by persuasion, long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness and pure knowledge."
     There's something I feel the need to say though. First off, I am not even close to being "the perfect mother". If anything, I lose my temper too easily. BUT- I've seen other mothers who I think interpret the above to saying to their kids, 'please don't do that' in a plaintive almost begging quiet voice. While I applaud the non-loss of temper, most kids I've seen totally ignore this kind of discipline. So. I think there needs to be the happy medium: a very firm but non-yelling kind of discipline. Trust me- I'm saying this to myself because I need to quiet down my voice lots of times.
     I thought it was funny when he mentioned that a sweet child enrolls their parents in Parenting 101 while a more difficult child enrolls them in Parenting 505. For me and my four kids, I'd say I'm probably in 101, 202, 404, and 505- all different with each of my kids. What I find interesting (and somewhat awful) about myself is that I seem to be hardest on my 101 kid and yet she gets the least of attention. Could be because she's the oldest. But that's definitely something for me to work on.
     Brother Robbins talks about turning negatives to positives. If they confess to doing something wrong, praise their honesty rather than focusing on the actual deed. Give compliments on being, not doing. Instead of "good job vacuuming" try "it makes me happy when you do your chores with a willing heart". Instead of saying "nice goal" in a sport, try, "you never gave up".
     The talk was full of so much, and it gave me a lot to think about. A lot to work on in with my own actions and in how I parent my children. To finish I want to quote Brother Robbins. He said, "The most important way to teach to be is to be the kind of parents to our children that our Father in Heaven is to us."
     I'm really glad I got to participate in this blogfest. It helped me to listen extra attentively to the talks. And blogging about this one helped me to understand it better, to really think about it deeply in relation to my own life. I can't wait to read what the other bloggers have to say...

Annette Lyon: “Desire”
Annie Cechini: “The Spirit of Revelation”
Ben Spendlove: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Chantele Sedgwick: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”
Charity Bradford: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”
Jackee Alston: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Jenilyn Tolley: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Jennifer McFadden: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”
Jessie Oliveros: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”
Jolene Perry: “It’s Conference Once Again”
Jordan McCollum: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Kasey Tross: “Guided by the Holy Spirit”
Kayeleen Hamblin: “Become as a Little Child”
Kelly Bryson: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Krista Van Dolzer: “Opportunities to Do Good”
Melanie Stanford: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Michelle Merrill: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Myrna Foster: “Opportunities to Do Good”
Nisa Swineford: “Desire”
Sallee Mathews: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Sierra Gardner: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Tamara Hart Heiner: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”
The Writing Lair: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”

Killjoy

     Yesterday I wrote approx. 4,000 words on Jessica book 2. 4,000 words!!! What a great day! It just put me in the best mood, I felt so excited about the book, nothing could get me down. I even blogged about writing sequels because I just felt so great about the work I'd done yesterday and so far on the whole book.
     Then last night as I'm checking my email, I get a nice form rejection. Nothing like a rejection to kill my good mood. Or totally annihilate it. At least they didn't have any pages so the rejection was based on my query only or on the story idea. That's something. I guess. Although it makes me question my query... but I'm going to leave it for now since it's a brand new draft.
     Well, to lighten my mood today, I put 15 songs on my playlist that I'm loving right now. I couldn't have a silent playlist, it just wasn't working for me. Silly I know, but I can't help myself. I think these songs show just how varied my music tastes are. So I'm going to use the music to get me pumped again so that I can ignore last night's rejection and churn out another thousand words or so this afternoon. Wish me luck, and have a happy Thursday.

Sequels

     I read a post yesterday on the BookEnds blog (I have a link on the side there) about sequels. Someone asked whether it's useful to write a sequel to a book that hasn't been published yet. Jessica from BookEnds replied that no, you really shouldn't waste your time writing a sequel. By all means write an outline, but leave it at that. Because if the first book is never published, you haven't wasted effort on writing a second, and if it is, you'll have plenty of time to write that sequel after.

    
     Well, I agree... sort of. I mean I can't fully agree since I'm in the middle of writing my own sequel to a book I haven't published yet. But I understand what she's saying. Daze and Knights (my first Jessica book) might never get published. Although I don't quite cut it off in the middle of the story, thus making a sequel necessary, I have written it so that you're left wanting more (hopefully) and in a way that you couldn't really read the second one before the first. The second one (currently untitled) doesn't stand on its own. So even if I finish it, I could never query it. The only real difference writing it makes is that I could change my query letter line from "I have started a sequel" to "I have finished a sequel". Big whoop-de-doo.

    
     So why am I writing it? Well, I can give you multiple reasons...

    
     1- It's hard not to envision where you want your books to go, especially if you plan right off the bat to make it a series of books instead of just one.

    
     2- My vision of what I wanted to happen in each subsequent book changed drastically from what I had first planned while writing Daze and Knights. Most of this is due to Jessica's relationship with Lord Alric, which I never planned to be as intense as it turned out. After talking with my sister who read my second draft (poor girl), she insisted that I couldn't omit Alric from future books (which I had originally planned to do). After our conversation, and a lot of brainstorming, I changed my views for future books. Those views became quite fixed and made me excited for what was to come.

    

     3- My idea for book 2 was an idea I've had for a long time, long before Daze and Knights was born (or even conceived- haha!) So naturally I spent time- in my head of course- tweaking it to fit with Jessica. While doing this, some very clear scenes played out in my head, so clear that they were impossible for me to ignore. In fact I remember some of those scenes coming to me during one of my three-hour drives to Cardston to visit my parents. I just had to write them down.

    
     All three of those reasons maybe aren't quite enough to explain why I'm now taking the time to write something that might just be so unnecessary as to render it obsolete. The biggest reason therefore is this:

    
     4- My original idea, which led to my new idea, which led to some very fun and some very heart wrenching scenes, led me to dah-da-da-daaaa: unshakable excitement. I can't help writing it because I'm just so freaking excited about book 1 and 2! I'm excited about the differences between the two, the differences in the worlds/time periods, the HUGE difference in Alric. I'm just so fired up with where this book is taking me and where it could go in future books that I Just. Can't. Help. My. Self. (Yes I know myself is one word).

    
     No, I won't write any future Jessica books, although I could. I already have 3 different time periods I want her to visit, and different ideas for what might happen in each. One of those three would be the last book of the series (if it became one) and I have written an outline for that. (I find that when ideas come, it's best to write them right away, even in note form, or I'll completely forget them. On the day that I was practically seized with what would happen in the last book, I did just that- writing a page of notes of what I see happening, at least right now. Things would probably change if I ever got to that point.)

    

     The thing is, I love Jessica. I love writing her. She feels like a part of me. And I can't help feeling fired up about her. I know when I finish book 2, it's going to be hard for me to let her go. (Hopefully by then I'll be closer to publishing book 1 and then I won't have to. Ha- a girl can dream!) But I will. I'll put book 2 aside, without edits (ouch that'll be hard), and start something completely brand new. But deep down I'll still be praying for the day when Jessica sees the light and I can continue her story.

               

       (Pictured- some of my favorite sequels. Clearly I had a hard time choosing!!!)

the first one ~ boyslikegirls

The First One by Boys Like Girls

Taylor Swift - Haunted (with lyrics)

Ok so after I published that last post about changing my music, I went to playlist and realized that only 2 of those 5 songs were there, and the 2 that mattered least to me. Sucky. So I found them on youtube instead and decided to only post Haunted and The First One. Enjoy, if you feel like it.

Update On Book 2

     Well, I've written just under 42,000 words on Jessica- book 2. So I'm not quite halfway through, but I still feel like I've got a long way to go. And I'm a little worried that it won't be long enough, which is laughable since the first draft of book 1 was approx 168,000 words! I know! I've cut about 50,000 words off it- more than I've written s far for book 2! That's why I feel like I've got a lot still to do. (FYI- this is my computer word count, not my estimated word count which happens to be a lot less.)
     To motivate me, I've decided to put songs on my playlist this month that I've either mentioned in book 2 or have inspired me for book 2. The one that inspires me the most is Taylor Swift's Haunted. It's just so perfect for the situation of book 2, for what Jessica has to go through, for how Alric is towards her. I get the shivers every time I hear that song because of what I see in my head while listening to it.
     If book 2 was a movie, I'd use The First One by Boys Like Girls at the very beginning of the movie because it very aptly describes what Jessica is going through missing Lord Alric, and how she sees him everywhere even though he's not really there.
      I mention both Club Can't Handle Me (by Flo-Rida) and You Don't Know Me (by Michael Buble) in one particular scene- a scene that I happen to love.
     And just because I love Two Is Better Than One and it's like my anthem/theme for book 1, I just had to put it in.
     That's all I got. I'm sure as I write more, I'll find more songs that either fit into the book or inspire me for different scenes. I'm trying to ignore the worry that it might not be long enough, or that I'm butchering the history part of it (it takes place in 1781). I just want to keep it up and get the story written. That's my goal. See it, live it, write it. Later I'll worry if it sucks bricks.

Random Thankfulness

    
     I was reading back my random rants post and I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Gee, my life is tough (and yes, that's 100% sarcastic). There are awful tragedies happening around the world, people are going through so much pain and turmoil, and here I am ranting about how my favorite tv shows aren't on right now! Terrible.
     So I thought I'd counter it with random things that I'm thankful for.

1- The way my kids look at me, like I'm the person that matters most in the world.

2- How even though I'm tired or cranky on sundays sometimes, the lessons, or talks, or even just the hymns are enough to part my dark clouds.

3-  Nothing beats a really great song. Music incites such emotions within me, it's no wonder I listen to it almost all day long and that it's such inspiration for my writing.

4- Writing makes me happy. Enough said.

5- I love Chapters (or Indigo, whichever). I go there and it calms me. I breathe in the books. I could sit there all day long and just read.

6- I had a roommate at BYU who said that at the movies, the previews would make her forget what movie she was seeing and then she'd get extra excited when she remembered what movie was about to start. I feel that exact thing every time I go to a movie.

7- I heart my blackberry torch. I know that's silly, but after having a crappy phone for the last ten years, there's nothing like that feeling of 'I am so cool' that my blackberry gives me. Stupid? Yes. But also true. It's that sixteen-year-old coming out in me.

8- There's nothing like a Cadbury Cream Egg. I mean, yum. I'm practically drooling right now just thinking about licking out the creamy center and then gobbling up the chocolate egg.

9- I know some people say that Walmart is evil, but I'm sorry, I love it. And I can't wait until Target comes to Canada. There just better be one close by.

10- It warms my heart to watch my kids play nicely together (even though it never lasts forever).

One extra- 11- Can I mention how much I love Tangled! My kids are watching it right now. Is it the greatest kids movie ever, or what?!

Random Rants

    
     A publicist once said that authors should only blog positive things. Well, ok. Maybe. But can I just take a second to rant? I mean, everybody's got to do it sometime. It's not like life is always roses. So here are some of my random rants:

1- Why is it that tv shows like Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl stop from november to late january, come back for a month, and then go away again until april? I don't get it. Is it because of march madness and the impending hockey playoffs? First off, the people who watch those shows are mostly teen and (ahem) slightly older girls who wouldn't be watching sports in the first place. And secondly, don't most people have PVR's these days?

2- It's been, what, six months or more since Mockingjay came out, so why hasn't Catching Fire come out in paperback yet? What is the deal?

3- Straightening my hair is such a pain. I mean, I know I don't HAVE to do it. But if I don't I'm left with this awful crinkly style that I loathe and despise, which means I have to spend fifteen or twenty minutes with my arm in the air holding the darn straightener.

4- I've read at least three blogs done by 'professionals' who have all called Stephenie Meyer- Stephenie Meyers. I don't know why this bugs me but it does. Um hello- if you're an agent or writer or writing teacher, you'd think you'd know how to spell Stephenie Meyer 's name. She's one of the most popular writers right now.

5- My two year old can't stop taking off her pants. Granted, she's so small that even belts hardly hold them up, but still. Leave your pants on already!

6- Why won't Crossiron Mills put in an Old Navy? It would make my life a lot easier. Seriously.

7- I'm thirty and I still get acne. My mom promised me it would go away after I had kids. But NO! Don't I deserve clear skin after fifteen years of dealing with zits???

8- I get my People StyleWatch in the mail more than a week after it's on stands. The anticipation does nothing for me, I'm just saying.

9- I've been trying over and over to find Faber Drive's "Can't Keep A Secret" to download onto my iPod. No luck. I'm really missing "You And I Tonight" and "Just What I Needed" in my daily music listening.

10- Why is it that just after I've finished vacuuming a room, the kids manage to mess it up again in less than ten seconds, or sometimes even while I'm in the process of doing the vacuuming? It's like, why do I even bother?

     Sheesh, I could go on. But I won't. I'm done ranting. At least for today.

Romance Novels

     Well, I read my first ever romance novel. Yep, I admit it. In the past, I would quickly walk past the aisles of novels whose covers had women with flowing hair and men with rippling muscles showing, avoiding even looking at them. I would mentally sneer at them in disdain and think, I'm above such nonsense.
     Then, while researching a certain agent, I found a list of books she likes. Since I couldn't get a hold of any she actually represents, I decided to read a couple of the ones she likes. The Duff was one. The romance novel- the other.

     Luckily the cover did not have half-clothed people on it or I probably would have cringed away and left it on the library shelf. Instead I checked it out, not embarrassed at all (ok maybe a little) and then read it through on Monday and Tuesday.
    So what did I think? Well... I loved it! I did! I actually loved it. It just goes to show you- don't judge, don't stereotype- not just people, but book genres as well.
    So okay, it did have one scene that I could have done without. I had almost made it to the end thinking, maybe I really judged romance too harshly, maybe not all of them have the "scene". Well, I was wrong. This one did. And I was disappointed. Really- it so wasn't necessary. The book, called What Happens In London by Julia Quinn, takes place in the 1800s where a woman's reputation is VERY important to her. So it just made no sense to me that the main character, a "lady", would sacrifice that, even if she did love the guy. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm used to Jane Austen where they have all the flirtations, the witty banter, the love, but not even one tiny bit of kissing. So for this girl to give it up just didn't make sense to me.
     Other than that, I loved the book. It was hilarious- and I mean freaking hilarious. Julia Quinn is expert at the witty banter. I pretty much giggled or laughed right out loud on almost every page. Not much action happened in the book, but the conversation was just awesome. And I loved how the main character- Lady Olivia- would make lists in her head. Like this one:

Unmarried Lady Sorts of Things

By Lady Olivia Bevelstoke, Unmarried Lady

Wear pastel colors (and be quite glad if you possess the correct complexion for such hues)

Smile and keep your opinions to yourself (with whatever success you are able)

Do what your parents tell you to do

Accept the consequences when you don't

Find a husband who won't bother to tell you what to do

     She does those lists a lot throughout the book and I thought they were so funny.

     Anyway, the moral of the story (or blog post) is... you never know if you'll like it unless you try it. Granted, I might try Julia Quinn again but I probably won't pick up any other romance authors unless they're recommended to me, for the simple fact that I don't want to be reading the ones that have "scenes" in every other chapter. But I definitely won't judge anymore. And I'll try not to be embarrassed the next time I check one out of the library...

Dear John, Beautiful Darkness, and The Duff

    
     I read some very different books this past week. It started with Nicholas Sparks' Dear John. It was a great book. But the funny thing about Nicholas Sparks is that I actually prefer the movies over the books. I'm not trying to knock Nicholas Sparks here, I think mainly it's because I've always seen the movie first, and then if I've liked it, I read the book later. So I get used to what I see on screen. I think the movies aren't quite so heart-wrenchingly sad too. Take Dear John. I knew the book wasn't going to end the same as the movie did. There's no way. I liked the bit of hope the movie ending gave. Jeff didn't like it though. He started watching the movie with me about a half hour in, but when the end rolled around, he was ticked. In fact I think his exact words were, "what kind of ending is that?" And so I said, "well what did you expect? It's Nicholas Sparks!" I went on to explain that you can expect three things from Nicholas Sparks: 1- romance, 2- a very serious medical condition, and 3- death (main character death usually). So Jeff asks me the million dollar question: "why would anyone wanna read him then?"
     Good question. I mean, why do I like that kind of stuff when I know I'm going to cry a whole lot and that someone's gonna die? I thought about it after he asked me and I came to this conclusion. First, Nicholas Sparks writes human stories well. Very well. He's excellent at suffering, sadness, sickness, death, and triumphing over all those things. He's also good at love and genuine feelings.
     I figured something else out too. In general I love a happy ending. But sometimes I love the heart-wrenchingly sad ones. Why? Well, to quote Becoming Jane, in real life good people don't always have happy endings. Bad people don't always come to bad ends. I think it's that realness, that truth, that draws me in. I don't want fluff all the time because it's not real. While I do like the fluff, and it provides a nice escape from the awfulness of this world, sometimes it's nice to read about more serious and true issues.

    
     After reading that I moved on to Beautiful Darkness, the sequel to Beautiful Creatures which I raved about a week or so ago. The sequel did not disappoint. I love these books. Garcia and Stohl do a great job of taking me into their southern/paranormal world. Excellent. If you like witch stories- read it!

    
     Yesterday I read The Duff by Kody Keplinger. I have a lot to say about this book so I'll try to keep it short. Duff stands for "Designated Ugly Fat Friend". The book is about this guy who calls the main character the duff. Aside from dealing with how that makes her feel, she has to deal with an ex, a divorce, and an alcoholic parent. So she turns to the jerk of a guy who calls her that, finding distraction from her troubles with him. What I liked: I think every girl has felt like the duff at one point in their lives- like out of their group of friends they are the ugly one or the fat one. I know I have. Not always, but there have been times. So it was very relate-able in that way. The voice was awesome- cynical, sarcastic, funny, honest. And at the end I liked how there's a subtle message about not judging others, not using labels like duff (or prude or slut or tease, etc.) What I didn't like: too many swear words. Some YA books have them, some don't. I prefer when they don't. It just takes me right out of the book when I'm trying to skip over the f-word. I also have to comment on the fact that though it's a YA book, I wouldn't want my girls to read it when they're teens. I don't want them to think that a guy (or sex) will be a good distraction from their problems like it is for the main character. Yikes. The thought just scares me so bad that I don't even want to think about it.
     So there you have it. Three very different books, all good for different reasons.

Finding The Time To Write

     
     I've been asked numerous times how I manage to write and be a mom at the same time. Well I can tell you, it ain't easy. But then nothing ever is. And nothing that's worth it ever is either.
      But to answer that question, first of all, you have to really want to. And I mean REALLY. I've always wanted to be a writer. Since grade two. But it wasn't until late 2009 when I started Jessica that it really happened. But why then, when I had four kids, the youngest not even a year old?
      Who knows. Well, ok, I can hazard a few guesses. Before Jessica I'd been working on a fantasy project that was destined to be a trilogy. And I use the word 'working' loosely, believe me. I was sixteen when I first got the idea, and although I tweaked it in my twenties, it was still a book idea that I'd been thinking about for more than ten years. So it was probably a good thing I moved on from it to try something new. I mean obviously that fantasy story just wasn't going to happen. Unfortunately, due to my huge failure at it, I was very scared of starting something new and failing massively at that as well, thus sealing my fate of never being a writer. But I tried something new anyway and it just worked. Jessica was new, fresh, and it made me very excited, fired up even, to write about her.
      Another reason I think it came so easily is that I wrote it in first person. Writing everything "I" this and "I" that, just seemed easier. It helped Jessica to come out on the page better, it made her thoughts clearer. Although I will admit that it made a lot of me come out in her. Yikes.
     People always tell writers- "write what you know". I remember thinking a lot about that phrase and thinking, Ha- I don't know anything! So what am I supposed to write about? But Jessica came about because of all these different daydreams I had in my own head and finally, on one brilliant day I thought to myself, why not mesh them all into one? Have one character experience all these stories? That thought never left. And when I finally decided to try it out, it just worked. It was almost easy to write. In fact most of it was easy to write. (It's the editing, and querying, and trying to get it published that's hard.)
     All those things helped Jessica's story to happen in my head, like a movie. Then it became a matter of just finding the time to sit at the computer and write it down.
     As to that- I started out by setting a goal- 50 pages by Christmas (that was obviously back before I realized that it's word count, not pages, that matter). I barely made that goal. I would write mostly in the early afternoons when my almost-one-year-old and almost-three-year-old were napping, my four-year-old was in preschool, and my six-year-old in grade one. It was the best time. My cleaning was done, the house was quiet, and I hadn't reached that I'm-too-tired-to-do-anything part of the day yet. Things changed after Christmas. It was like a fire got lit under my butt and I started writing a lot more. Sometimes I'd find some time in the morning. Sometimes that two-hour block of napping/preschool writing time extended all the way until the time when I knew I had to stop or else my kids wouldn't get dinner before bed. And yes, I felt immensely guilty for all those times. Sometimes I wrote at night, into the night, not stopping until 1, 2, even 3 am. And yes, I felt immensely guilty for how cranky I was with everyone on the days after those late nights. But it took me less than two months to finish the book. 
     The thing is, if you really want to write, you will. Even now, some days I really want to and others I spend my writing time researching agents or aspects of life in the late seventeen-hundreds (for book 2). Or blogging. (Which I'm doing now after I've already written more than a thousand words for today.) That's just the way it goes. If the story is in your head, you'll find the time to write it. You just will. So I guess the question shouldn't be, how do you find the time to write? The question is, how do you get that story in your head?
      At least that's what I would have wanted to ask my current self ten years ago. More on that another day...

Red Riding Hood and Heist Society

    
     I saw Red Riding Hood on the weekend. It was an ok movie. Not amazing, not terrible. Pros: Amanda Seyfried is a good actress, I loved the whole medieval thing (the village, the clothes, the armor), the visuals were amazing in certain scenes, and the biggest pro of all: you never know who the wolf is. They make you think it's this person, then another person, and then someone else entirely, and yet it was still a surprise at the end. I loved that. I liked guessing and I liked being surprised.
     Cons: it was cheesy at times, slow in moments, and the whole party/dance thing was almost laughable to me. And the ending was a little disappointing. I don't want to spoil it so all I'll say is I guess I'm just too much of a romantic.

     Another thing I did this weekend was read Ally Carter's "Heist Society". I've raved about Ally Carter before- she writes the Gallagher Girls series. I just love her. Her books are light, funny, and unpredictable. This one was about a girl whose family are all cons. She leaves the family business to go to regular high school but she gets drawn back into the life to save her father. She has to pull off this big heist with a bunch of teenagers for help. The book didn't disappoint. One of the things I like about her is that she writes things that I could never write. I'm not so good at the caper/mystery plot line, nor do I think I'm all that funny. And Ally Carter just gets teenage girls- she writes them really well. I think a lot of people would shy away from her books because they're targeted to a younger teen audience, but I'd recommend them to anyone.
  

Sixteen-year-old Me vs. Thirty-year-old Me

     I'd like to take a moment to defend myself. About what you ask? Well, the fact that I have on numerous occasions mentioned the hotness of this guy, or my crush on that guy, or anything else along those lines.

     Yes, I know I'm married, a mother, thirty (ow, that hurts to write that and sadly it's going to get worse in a month)... Some may think it wrong, inappropriate, silly, ridiculous, you get the point, that I mention things like that. I myself at different times have thought about how my sister-in-law blogs about these important and serious issues that are affecting her family while I'm blogging things like how Alex Pettyfer should be my movie Alric.

      Yes I am a happily married mother. But that is not all that I am. Being married, being single, a mother, a writer, a dentist, a lawyer, tall, short, fat, thin, white, black... one of those things does not make a person. Heck- three of those things does not make a person. Melanie Stanford is made up of zillions of different things- life experiences, interests, mind imaginings, etc. While wife and mother is my main role, writer is secondary. With writer (especially YA writer) comes the reemergence of my sixteen-year-old self.

     Actually, my sixteen-year-old self has never really gone away. It's embarrassing to admit this but I enjoy watching High School Musical with my seven-year-old daughter. I feel like a teenager again when I sing and dance around my room (or my whole house) to Taylor Swift or These Kids Wear Crowns. Most of the books I read are YA. And if I've got nothing to watch on tv, I'd much rather choose iCarly or Big Time Rush than some nasty, sex-and-violence-filled crime show or oh-so-boring discovery channel piece. True.
     My sixteen-year-old self is a very prevalent part of me. In reality, I still feel more like a silly teen than a mature and all-knowing mother (which is what mothers are supposed to be, right?). That's probably why writing YA came so naturally to me. And why, if I can get a little luck on my side, I might actually be successful at it (pleasepleaseplease). Sixteen-year-old me looks at life a lot differently than thirty-year-old-me. Sixteen-year-old me has innocence, big dreams, stupidity... and notices hot guys. Guys who all happen to be younger than thirty-year-old me (which is saying something, I think).
     The other side to this story is that I am a very private person and prefer not to blog about my children. My blog is dedicated to my writing, and everything that that entails. All the inspiration, motivation, things that make me want to write, people that I want to write about, etc. Sixteen-year-old me is a very big part of my writing. She's the one who comes up with everything teen- the dialogue, the emotions, the silliness, the guys-while thirty-year-old me is the one who tries to make the writing good, and who brings a broader experience of the world to the story.

     So there you have it. Read and feel free to sigh in exasperation, roll your eyes, or mock away when I comment on Alex Pettyfer's hotness. Because while thirty-year-old me flushes in embarrassment at my own comments (or at your eye-rolling), sixteen-year-old me flushes in embarrassment, giggles, and then just shrugs her shoulders. And neither of us can see you doing it anyway.

Sixteen-year-old me                                   vs.                                                       Thirty-year-old me

     Who do you think would win in fight? Personally I'm

       betting on thirty-year-old me- she's a lot scrappier.

Shyness

    
     First off, happy St. Patty's Day. I'm wearing my Lucky Charms shirt in honor.
     But onto something more serious.
     So, two this have happened in the past few days that have left some questions lingering in my mind. First off, at church on Sunday our relief society lesson was on service. One of the things our teacher said was that everyone has different talents and strengths and we should serve how we are best able. That got me thinking... what are my talents? Writer? Well, maybe, but how does that help with service?
     Then then missionaries came by last night to talk and issue us one of those very-scary challenges. When they asked if I had anyone in mind to bring into our home I said, um no. When they asked for the first person that popped into my head, I did think of someone, but it's someone I hardly know. And I laughed in utter embarrassment and then sheepishly explained that I'm kinda anti-social and therefore... sorry, I've got nothing.
     It got me to thinking... I've always been kinda shy. On the bachelor finale this past Monday, Emily described herself as "private, not shy". Well, I'm both. I'm not always shy, but I definitely don't put myself out there. I say hi to people, but I'm not much of a conversation starter. I've always been this way and I feel like I always will. I've been better at different times of my life (BYU), and I've been worse (like when I first started having kids). But this is who I am.
     So my question is- is this a bad thing? I mean, yes, I wish I was different. I wish I was a lot more outgoing and comfortable with people. And this shyness limits me- I could make more contacts, put myself out there more in the writing world, etc. But this is who I am. Should I change that? Sometimes I think- why bother? But then I think about service or missionary work or even what I would do if I go to a writer's conference and I think, I need to be better. I need to be unafraid of people, or looking stupid, or being rejected. Because I hardly ever serve. Because I have no one I could talk to about the church or invite to something. Because I'm terrified of even doing so. So then I think, I need to change. But will I...

A Great And Terrible Beauty

     First off... no, the title does not refer to me. Although my beauty is great, I would describe it more as sweet instead of terrible. What do you think? No, I really don't want to know. Just like I really don't think my beauty is 'Great'- just for anyone who thinks I have this huge head full of ego.

     Anyway... I mentioned reading Libba Bray's "A Great and Terrible Beauty" in a past post. This past weekend I read the second and third books of that trilogy- "Rebel Angels" and "The Sweet Far Thing". I didn't mention much about the first one, only that I felt the title was misleading. And by misleading I guess I should say that the books just weren't what I thought they'd be about. I picked them up mainly because of a review on Vickie Motter's blog (she's an agent I previously queried).

     So, getting down to it, the trilogy is about a girl- Gemma Doyle- whose mother dies, so she moves from India to a boarding school in England. Oh, and I should add that they take place in the 1890s. Right away that's brownie points for me since I love almost all things from the past. Gemma discovers she has this power to travel to "the realms", kind of a dream-like land. All three books are about her learning her power, fighting the evil Circe, and of course growing up. Gemma not only has to deal with her strange powers but the dissatisfaction of becoming a lady: corsets, being proper, balls, teas, getting married, etc. I think it's really well done just in the learning about what girls had to go through back then.

     My only gripes are, for one- I felt they were a bit long- the last one especially. I don't mind a long book, but with all the cutting of the unnecessary with my own book, I noticed things that could have been cut or meshed together in hers. My other gripe- the ending. It was a good ending. But in a way- sad. In some cases I love a sad ending- my heart thumps at the tragedy of it all. But in this case I didn't think it had to be that way. Of course it's not my book, so who am I to say what she should have done with her characters. But I felt the loss of one of them in particular. Which just goes to show you that the books were good because they had an impact on me. All in all, very good, and different from anything I've read before.

Hey There Delilah

     I found this fun game on a literary agency's blog (of all places) and it was totally my kind of thing since I love music and I've always been one of those suckers who fills out those email-personal-questionnaires. You know the ones with questions like, what time is it, what did you eat for breakfast, who will respond to this email...
     Anyway, this one is a bit different and pretty funny. Here's what you do:

My Life in iTunes

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

You're supposed to tag your friends and blah blah blah, but I'm just going to leave it here and if anyone else wants to play, they can just cut and paste to their hearts content.

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

I Don't Wanna Wait (by the Veronicas)

Wow- good answer! So impatiently me.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF

Run (Leona Lewis)

Hmmm, is this game tyring to tell me something?

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Beside You (Marianas Trench)

Aw, how sweet! It is helpful if they are beside you.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Some Kind of Wonderful (Michael Buble)

I swear I am not rigging this thing! And while I feel ok today, I wouldn't say wonderful.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Enchanted (Taylor Swift)

As in, to be Enchanted, or to Enchant others??? Hmmm.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

Raise Me Up (Westlife, a cover version of Josh Groban's)

Good motto- maybe I should start living by it.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Flying Without Wings (Westlife)

Aw, thanks guys.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

If I'm Not In Love (Faith Hill)

Um, I don't even know what to say about that.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Falling Away With You (Muse)

Huh. This game knows me better than I know myself.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Count On You (Big Time Rush ft. Jordin Sparks)

That's a good one. Perfect.


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Meet You There (Simple Plan)

Okay, I'm a little freaked out since that song is about meeting someone in the afterlife.


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Halfway There (Big Time Rush- and don't mock me for having them on my playlist!)

Haha, I want to be Halfway There? How about all the way there? And where is 'there' anyway???


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Heartache Tonight (Michael Buble)

I swear I'm not rigging this!!! But that's a good one, I hope everyone has a party and dances along to that song at my funeral. Remember this- I want it played at my funeral.


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Revolution (The Veronicas)


"I am temperamental, like a heart without a home/I am sentimental, but you don't know me at all.../Hold on Tight, I am, I'm a revolution/Close your eyes, I am I am I am/I'll blow your mind/I am, I'm a revolution"

Makes me sound more interesting than I actually am.


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Real Thing (Boys Like Girls)

Okay, I'm confused. Or is this game trying to tell me something?


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Swear It Again (Westlife, what's with all the Westlife songs?)

Oh no, now everyone knows... just kidding, this one makes no sense. And no, I'm not a closet potty-mouth or anything.


WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

Everything I'm Not (The Veronicas)

Wow- okay nailed me on the head again!


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

On Top Of The World (Boys Like Girls)

Nice...


WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Hey There Delilah (The Plain White T's)