The Great Bookmark Saga of 2016

Who knew bookmarks could be such a pain? 

ME. I KNOW.

ME. I KNOW.

Thus begins the Great Bookmark Saga of 2016. Also known as, A Disaster of Epic Proportions. 

I wanted some bookmarks for SWAY. Samhain was kind enough to send me rack cards before SWAY came out and I have a few left, but they're out of date, plus I wanted something bookmark size. So I decided to design my own using Canva. I'd already designed something on Canva so obviously I was an expert and it seemed like a good idea.

It pretty much took me an entire day just to make my design. Once I did, it was pretty, I loved it, and I thought, all I have to do is upload it to Vistaprint and Bam! I've got bookmarks.

WRONG!

WRONG!

First, I'd heard that you can save money by uploading two designs on the rack card template and then you can cut them yourself and voila! Two for the price of one bookmarks. This did not work for me. So I tried to fit my design into Vistaprint's bookmark template. Also did not work. I redesigned my bookmarks on Canva multiple times in different sizes in an attempt to fit them into the template. NOPE. And keep in mind, this wasn't just a, click once to resize. Because I'm on basic Canva, I had to design over again FROM THE BEGINNING. EACH TIME.

After all this, I finally decided to use a different printing company. I uploaded my design and it was easy... TOO easy. But I ignored this and ordered a hundred bookmarks. At this point, it was like 2 am, but I could not fall asleep. I kept stressing about these bookmarks. What if I hadn't gotten the design within the bleed lines? What if words were cut off? What if they ended up blurry? Then I'd be wasting my money, PLUS a trip to the US where I had to pick them up (they don't ship to Canada). In order to get some sleep that night, I cancelled the order. 

I just didn't feel good about ordering through this second printer, so I went back to Vistaprint and asked them to fit my design into their template. Waited a day. They couldn't do it. 

Forget online printing companies, I would go local. So I went into Staples (a Canadian office supply store) and asked if they printed bookmarks and if they would print my design, how much, etc. They said yes- bring in the design on a USB. I did, the next day. The lady, the same one I'd already talked to, couldn't open the file. So she said for me to change the format and come back. So I did. AGAIN. I put my design into every format I could think of and went BACK into Staples. Same lady. Still couldn't open the file. She basically stared at me like I was some kind of idiot, but I'm sorry lady- those files opened on my computer at home! Anyway, suck-it Staples, I'll go somewhere else. After calling around and leaving multiple messages with small printing companies, I decided to try online again.

Can I make a side note here and say, if only Vistaprint had a bookmark template! They have rack card and business card templates, but with bookmarks, you have to upload your design. Otherwise, I would have redesigned right on Vistaprint. But I couldn't do that, so this time, I uploaded my design and asked them to recreate it for me. A day later, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles... THEY DID! I had to make a minor change and wait another day, but finally, I had a working design that I could actually order on Vistaprint. So I did. They told me I would get them in a few weeks, in time for a book signing event I had planned for the beginning of October.

I waited. I checked the mail. I waited some more. I checked some more. NOTHING. Finally, a few days before my event (and here is where I screwed up... I should've done this a week earlier) I went into the tracking info on Vistaprint, which led me to UPS, which led me to this extensive list of all the places these bookmarks had travelled to. Apparently, they didn't have the right address, they contacted the receiver (me, and NO THEY DID NOT), got an address, delivered. They were rejected by the receiver (BECAUSE IT WASN'T ME), mailed them back to Ontario, went to three different cities in Ontario, and were currently in limbo when I checked. I called UPS. 

Long story short, UPS doesn't deliver to PO boxes, and sent my bookmarks back to Vistaprint. 

First of all, WHY DIDN'T UPS CALL/EMAIL ME??? I would've given them my street address. I have no clue WHO they kept contacting.

Second of all, if Vistaprint always uses UPS, and UPS never delivers to PO  boxes, WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO ENTER A PO BOX INTO THE ADDRESS LINE? When I called Vistaprint, they didn't even know UPS doesn't deliver to PO boxes!

What. The. Fudge.

What. The. Fudge.

Anyway (not really anyway, but I'm mostly over it, so anyway), Vistaprint said they would resend and I would get them October 6th... six days AFTER my bookstore event. Great. Thanks for that.

I didn't actually get them until today. If you want to see what they look like, and my reaction to opening them,  you can go here.