A-Z Challenge: Q is for QUERIES

Duh. I'm a writer. How could I not pick queries for Q day?!

Soon I will enter the query trenches yet again. Querying is hard. Writing queries is hard. Being in the query trenches is hard. Getting rejections on queries is hard. It's the truth. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.*

But you know what? This won't be my first time, so it's actually not that bad. Maybe it's like having a baby. Like how you forget all about how painful the whole thing was so you get pregnant again because all you care about is the end result. I remember how crappy querying can be, and yet, it's the end result that matters. I believe in my writing. I believe that someday I will get it out there. And the way to do that? Queries.

So, I hesitate to put this here because right now it's a big 'ole mess. But here's my first draft of the query I'll be sending out soon, once it (hopefully) doesn't suck and the MS is ready. It's YA Urban Fantasy.

Eponine Thorpe doesn’t care about high school, her alcoholic parents and their petty crime sprees, or even her User abilities. All she cares about is her best friend Mark. He’s the only one who can keep the rot from her soul, the only reason she Uses her magic at all.
When Cassie Vandenberg moves to town, Poni thinks nothing could be worse than a girl who’s going to take Mark away from her. Then Poni’s parents ask for her help on a job. Upset over Mark and Cassie’s new relationship, she agrees to help even though she swore she would never go back to that life. When the mark turns out to be Cassie, Poni knows she’s made a big mistake.
Now her parents are hell bent on revenge for screwing with their plans and Mark will never forgive her when he finds out the truth. Determined to keep herself and Mark safe, and hoping to win him back somehow, Poni searches out the truth about her parents and their connection to the Vandenberg’s. But Poni uncovers deeper secrets than she ever thought possible. Secrets about the Vandenberg’s, about her parents, and about the User society she was born into. Poni must decide whether saving herself is worth more than Mark’s love, or whether saving Mark is worth becoming the person she always tried to hide from him.
So. On a scale of 1-10, how bad does it suck? Any advice or critique?
*Bonus points if you know what movie that's from

And my Q songs for the day (that's right, I got two!):
Quando Me'n Vo' sung by Anna Netrebko from La Boheme by Puccini
Quidditch World Cup by Patrick Doyle from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire